Kirsten is an 18-inch tall girl from Sweden who
grew up on the American frontier. Now she pretty much stays home
all day and watches talk shows. It's a life of quiet dignity.
One day, I was astonished to see Kirsten focusing
intently on her slate. Was she trying to better herself with education?
Could Kirsten someday become the world's smartest 18-inch tall
girl from Sweden?
Kirsten proudly showed me her work.
"See?" Kirsten said. "It's a visual
birthday list! I drew my fishing set in, too, but you don't have
to buy it for me. Although, I am your favorite American
Girl doll, so it would be a nice gesture. Don't forget, you never
ever gave me a birthday party before!"
"You spelled 'summer' wrong, Kirsten,"
"But isn't Sari cute?" Kirsten asked.
"And the tiny little heart?"
When it became clear that I wasn't going to buy
Kirsten things just because she drew them on her slate, Kirsten
stormed off in a huff, and took a trip to visit her best friend,
"Hi, Evil Kirsten!" Kirsten said. "Your
dress is a little short!"
Evil Kirsten looked at Kirsten accusingly.
"Well, mine's a little short too," Kirsten
admited. "But her nice mama made it for me,"
she continued, using the particularly spiteful voice she reserved
for talking about me. "That was a LONG time ago, when
that evil lady who won't buy me anything was just a cheap little
girl. And dresses were shorter back then. Her nice mama
followed the pattern perfectly, so that's the only explanation!"
Evil Kirsten just nodded.
Regular Kirsten sighed. "I want a new dress
so much, but that cheap lady won't get me one! I tried begging,
and drawing pictures, and hiding her toothpaste, and jumping on
her bed all night. But she won't buy me anything! What can I do?"
Evil Kirsten grinned wickedly and gave her advice.
"Steal her wallet?" Kirsten asked. "Well,
you're my only friend, so you must be right!" And she did
what Evil Kirsten told her to.
Once she'd been through my purse, Kirsten went to
"I never would've reached the mouse if I didn't
have this wallet to stand on!" Kirsten said. "Thanks,
Ever determined, Kirsten navigated to the American
Girl website and looked around, putting everything she wanted
in her shopping bag.
(It says $249.00. She actually doesn't want that
much, at least not compared to some people. Or some dolls.)
"Oh, Kirsten!" I called cheerfully, bringing
in some packages from the Outside World.
"Wow!" Kirsten said. "That was quick.
I didn't even tell it to Checkout yet!" She ran over to greet
"Welcome home!" Kirsten said, waving in
"Look what I bought you!" I said.
"Wow!" Kirsten said. "It's almost
as good as what I ordered!"
"What?" I asked flatly.
Kirsten ran over to hug the new acquisition. "It's
great! Another doll! Hey...wait a minute!"
"Okay, okay, it's a dress of Addy's, and I
only bought it because it was on sale," I apologized.
"No, not that!" Kirsten yelled. "She
doesn't have a head! And no arms! And only one leg!"
"She? Oh, Kirsten, it's a Dress Form!"
I said. "The surprise was the dress!"
"What?" Kirsten asked.
"I bought that dress for you to wear!"
Kirsten stared at me in disbelief. "So...you
bought a poor doll that had a terrible accident and has no head
and no arms and only one leg...and now you want me to steal her
"Kirsten, I didn't--"
"What kind of a sick monster are you?!"
"Put the ruler down, Kirsten," I said,
backing away, for fear she'd break my kneecaps. "I thought
you'd like it!"
"Why did you think I'd enjoy taking a dress
from a poor defenseless broken doll?" Kirsten yelled. "Who
do I look like? Evil Kirsten?"
"Okay, okay," I said. "Would it be
all right if you let the dress form wear one of your dresses?"
Kirsten looked long and hard at the pretty striped
dress, and finally nodded.
"I think Pegleg Sally looks happier in a pink
dress," Kirsten said. "Don't you? It really shows off
"She's lovely, Kirsten," I said.
"I think so too," Kirsten said. "I'm
sorry I was afraid of you, Pegleg Sally. I didn't realize how
special you are."
Pegleg Sally didn't say anything, but Kirsten knew
And Kirsten sat down to read a story to her new
Next time (unless I update before, say, 5/19 or
so)...an explanation for this:
On to 5.17.06
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