The Gadgetism Test, Version .001
(another fine Ultra-Flite product.)
This is the Gadgetism Test. If you have taken the Rangerity Test and gotten a low score that surprised you, or if you found the Gadget questions struck the most chords, or if you simply have a thing for mice, this supplementary test will help pin down both your level and your type of gadgetism.
It is also useful for most rabid Rescue Ranger fans, because even most of those who are not into the show entirely for Gadget, appreciated her presence and might not be the fans they are without her.
Everything's worth a point. There are 100 questions, for now. Yes-or-no stuff.
If you're a big Gadget fan, The Gadgetism Test tends to score higher than the Rangerity Test.
Oh, and all technicalities count, because gadgetism is next to gadgliness.
"I think we'd better be going." -anonymous
THE TEST.
Part 1. Gadget-angst (The bulk of Gadgetism, to be explained later. And Paltiel, this means you.)
Do you think Gadget should have...
1) |
Been the leader of the Rangers? |
2) |
Gotten her own series? |
3) |
Been in a movie? |
4) |
Her own real house in Toontown (not a shack over the Go Coaster?) |
5) |
Never been in "Dirty Rotten Diapers?" |
6) |
Not been made to embarrass herself in "Shell Shocked?" |
7) |
Not said "They're so cute!" all the time in CDRR Comic? |
8) |
Been excluded entirely from CDRR Comic #14? (Let's go save Gadget, and play the heroes, while she calls people overstuffed blowhards! Whee!) |
9) |
Been allowed to dance in the series? |
10) |
Been portrayed as computer-literate? |
11) |
Told Chip where to stuff it when he said she should hit on Rat Capone? |
12) |
Gotten a little PUBLICITY?! |
13) |
Been drawn better throughout the series? |
14) |
Not been the rescuee in the Rescue Rangers 1 game for Nintendo? |
15) |
Been allowed normal sleepwear (I mean, modest, yes, but lace cutting off her her circulation at the ankles... she looked like an upright vacuum with Victorian trim.) |
16) |
Been mentioned in the RR theme song? |
17) |
Not been referred to as "the shy, feminine Gadget" in Disney News? |
18) |
Been on embroidered shirts? |
19) |
Not been carrying the gun in the "ultraclassic" RR group pose? |
20) |
A middle name? |
21) |
...something scientifical-like? (Gadget Algorithm Hackwrench.. nah.) |
22) |
Chip's respect? |
23) |
...to the point where he grovels at her feet? |
24) |
Her own theme song? |
25) |
Sung? |
26) |
...on the Disney Afternoon album? |
27) |
Consumed less machine oil; it's not too good for mice? |
28) |
Had a competently designed walkaround costume? |
29) |
Hosted "Raw Toonage?" |
30) |
Written a book? |
31) |
Destroyed more stuff? |
32) |
Been the mayor of Toontown? |
33) |
Been allowed to eat on camera more than twice? |
34) |
Had just one experience that made her grin? (Liz Kalter pictures don't count.) |
35) |
Been in Disney 20 Questions? |
36) |
Gotten a roller coaster with less that a 60:1 wait-ride time ratio? |
37) |
Gotten more cool wild takes? |
Do you think Gadget should have been rendered, by Disney, for purchase...
38) |
...in computer 3-D? |
39) |
...in porcelain? (drool) |
40) |
...in bronze? (drool more) |
41) |
...in a collector's plate? (pardon me, I have to rob a bank now) |
42) |
...in a deluxe home video with lithographs of conceptual sketches, two compact discs, and the words to the Koo Koo Cola theme in calligraphy on a sheet of bark to display, plus Tad Stones' personal blessing? |
43) |
...in a watch? (Ideally, I think, see-through with Gadget silkscreened on the face and tooled goggles down deep purple leather bands. Oh yeah.) |
44) |
...in a Grolier Christmas ornament? |
45) |
...in large plush? |
46) |
...in frozen dessert? |
47) |
...in (on) underwear, by herself? (cough) |
48) |
Does it really torque you off that all this stuff was never done? |
49) |
Have you ever searched for the word "gadget" on the Internet? |
50) |
Can you think of another thing done to, or not done for, Gadget that annoys you? |
51) |
...five things? |
52) |
...ten things? |
53) |
...fifteen things? |
54) |
...things you cannot count? |
55) |
...things you cannot express? |
56) |
Of all the RR villains, do you hate Capone the most? |
57) |
Do you feel strongly one way or the other about Gadget erotica (or are you actually taking the time to sort out your opinion?) |
58) |
...If yes, you do feel strongly, and you like it, is it because it's the
only Gadget stuff you can get; ...If yes, you do feel strongly, and you hate it, is it because you feel it subverts what is independant, individual and respected in Gadget (read: feminist); ...If no, you don't feel strongly, is it because Gadg is Gadg and it must therefore all be holy? |
59) |
Do you hate the word... Inspector ? |
60) |
...take another point if you shuddered or cringed. |
Part 2. Emulation
61) |
Can you recite Gadget's dialogue for an entire episode? |
62) |
...with correct body language? |
63) |
Can you shrug exactly like Gadget? (forearms away from the body, palms up) |
64) |
Can you say "hmidunno" with perfect inflection? |
65) |
Can you say "actually" perfectly? (lingering first syllable- optional soft "well" before it: "wlA- chally." The same pattern is in hmidunno.) |
66) |
Can you dance like Gadget (once) did? |
67) |
When you drive, do you imagine the wind whistling through your ears? |
68) |
Do you dress casually? |
69) |
...would you go to weddings in work clothes if you could? |
70) |
Have you ever been nicknamed Gadget, had a pseudonym/handle of Gadget, etc.? (Titles containing Gadget or references to her definitely count.) |
71) |
Is the opposite sex okay as long as they don't disturb you while you're working? |
72) |
Do you feel best when barefoot? |
73) |
Do you have an aversion to cosmetics? |
74) |
Does awful stuff happen to you whenever you wear a dress? |
75) |
Is everything better with blueprints? |
Part 3. Pay Attention, Class
Did ya ever notice...
76) |
Gadget does the repair work and Monty does the cooking? (: |
77) |
...because Gadget's cooking is biohazardous? |
78) |
The Encyclopedia of Walt Disney Characters (?) calls Gadget RR's greatest success? |
79) |
Gadget herself said those were overalls? (Overall overalls, or the the other kind...?) |
80) |
She never looks bad in the morning? (Sure... Disney shields us...) |
Part 4. The Oblivious to Reality Section (Not the Rangerity one, this one is different. Really.)
The Oblivious section measures feelings toward Gadget. If you say, "For deity's sake, it's just a cartoon!!" you may skip this section. Now please measure, if you will, your propensity toward Gadget. We'll make this simple: If you want her children, use subsection A. If you are not into mice or simply respect her, use subsection B. Be forewarned that no answer is wrong, but A will be more popular.
81) |
Would you welcome Gadget into your home? |
82) |
...afterward, would you welcome her out of other things? |
83) |
Do you fantasize about her? |
84) |
Have you tasted machine oil? |
85) |
Do you think Chip hasn't got a chance? |
86) |
Are you single because nobody is Gadgish enough? |
87) |
Do you want to be in the Ranger Wing when it breaks down? |
88) |
Do you stay up nights thinking about a sleek tail curled round you? |
89) |
Do you have an object fetish? (you can take this as a pun, yes.) |
90) |
Have you hurt yourself reacting to the red dress? (i.e. Oh- Owwwwwwww.) |
91) |
Does fur feel nice? |
92) |
Do you see yourself alone in ancient ruins with Gadget? |
93) |
Are you certain you could make Gadget forget all her troubles? |
81) |
Would you welcome Gadget into your family? |
82) |
...as a sister? |
83) |
Do you fantasize that you are her? |
84) |
Have you tasted machine oil? |
85) |
Do you think Chip hasn't got a clue? |
86) |
Are you single because nobody can stand your obsession? |
87) |
Do you want to take the Ranger Wing out on the sky and see who's boss? |
88) |
Do you stay up nights on the Web looking for just one new Gadget page? |
89) |
Are you a hardware jock? |
90) |
Have you hurt yourself reacting to the red dress? (i.e. WHAT? Why, those- [BONK!] Owwwwwwww.) |
91) |
Can you sympathize with the problems associated with fur? |
92) |
Do you see yourself ruining buildings with Gadget? (ka-BLAM! We're tied!) |
93) |
Are you worried that Gadget carries lingering traces of grief? |
94) |
If you feel like looking over the section you did not choose, can you answer yes to at least one of the questions in it? |
95) |
Are you now just a hair concerned about yourself- if nothing else, your social life? |
Part 5. Come on, Candy, Just Five More Questions to Write and Then You Can Go to Sleep
96) |
Have you ever made Gadget art? (Even if you hated the result.) |
97) |
Do you have a collection of Gadget stuff? |
98) |
Are you sorely tempted to name your kids some synonym of "doodad"? |
99) |
Can you prove your gadgetism in ways yet unmentioned? |
100) |
Have you ever, in your chosen form, asked Gadget be blessed? |
Part 6. Extra Credit
ec1) |
If you can explain the role Gadget played in every episode of RR and give your views on whether the writing served her well, your gadgetism is assumed to be an extra 10% higher, up to 100%. It counts even if you would need an episode guide. |
"Just one more little adjustment. There! It's finished!" Add them up and divide by one. There's your gadgetism.
THE SCORES
Scores here are looser than in the Rangerity Test, but the cutoff's higher.
If you score over 25%, you are a Gadget fan. Well done.
Over 50% and you are a definite Gadgephile. Treat yourself to some Slick
50.
Over 75% and you sleep in your overalls. You're up with the best of `em.
Over 90% and you should really have orange hair. Safe to say Mick ain't
your favorite mouse.
Over 98% and you are a subscriber to the Gadget Archive Mailing List (point
lips skyward and pucker up) You have a genuinely rare high score.
A score of 100% means that you are one gosh darn heck (to use the
mouse's strongest words) of a Gadget fan. You have your own theories as
to Gadget's hair color and clothing, you probably don't like Chip a whole
lot, you dance in front of microphones- and, oh, yes, unavoidably, you're
a nerd. (: Carry your glass cutter proudly.
MORE INDEPTHISH STUFF
Gadget-angst is the frustrated, helpless anger that gadgephiles feel when they enter a Disney Store and realize that Gadget barely even graced its doorway (unless, of course, the store has a Gadget Shrine and then the gadgephile is bowing before it), or when they finally get that back issue of We Mentioned Rescue Rangers In Passing Magazine and it can only call Gadget "shy, feminine, and sure to marry Chip or Dale," or when they watch Bonkers and seethe, all too aware that THIS bumped HER spot.
Because so little has been done for Gadget- since the end of RR, yes, but even in the process of RR's promotion- gadgephiles have had little to turn to in the last half decade, and this angst is the new hallmark of gadgetism. This is why most of the questions are on Gadget-angst- to see whether you've stuck in there long enough to be agitated.
Please realize that to most people with severe Gadget-angst, the mouse is a role model, a sex goddess, or both. This psychological force has been locked away for years. Beware the angry Gadget fan.
An emulation is a solution so saturated that it cannot remain entirely mixed. What? Oh. Ahem. Gadget-emulation, hero-worship, whatever you wanna call it. One could do a lot worse than to imitate her. A bit of it is essential to the -ism.